Holy crap where did the year go?
Seriously, I have no idea what happened to it. It is very true the older you get the faster it goes. I was just fifteen a few years ago and now I am *ahem* not fifteen anymore.
Although I must say my thirties have been the best decade so far in my life. I can handle everything that has been thrown at me with a little more grace than I used to. Normally I would overreact and go, as I like to call it ‘redrum’. (I just aged myself with that reference didn’t I?)
No matter, I am not really that old.
So I have been doing this blog thing for almost six months now. I guess that is an accomplishment in itself I suppose. This is really practice for when I am ready to start marketing. It is not as easy as it looks folks. Can you imagine trying to find something to write about that is important to you as well as others? Or exposing your thoughts on the almighty interweb and wondering if anyone really reads my crap. Do I get made fun of? Am I good enough to continue? Should I quit and admit defeat?
I try not to think about all that because I have been taught that that is a sign of weakness. You must never let anyone know how much you care about what they think. Never show that you have no fucking idea what you are doing because others will converge on you like hungry sharks in bloody water.
But recently I have had the eye opening experience of being asked to be part of a great group of people. A writing group for others with the dream of becoming a published author. I love to write. It makes all the fuzzy edges of my vision sharper. I never knew that there were other people who felt like I did with the same passion and conviction that I had. Sounds cheesy I know, but it is true.
We all did our goals for this writing year and shared them to get an idea of what we should expect. For me, mine was to be consistent. I am super impatient and have been known to change my mind on occasion. Accountability is also super difficult. If I don’t put too much pressure on myself than I won’t be dissapointed when I fail. What a horrible way to look at it huh?
I have never been that competitive a person. But I find that I am competing against myself if that makes sense. I don’t want to let myself down because this is something really important to me and I am tired of pretending that it doesn’t matter. Geez, I sound like I have some serious issues. *shoulder shrug* Hmm, maybe I do.
At any rate, I have composed my new years resolutions together and in the interest of trying to let go of my fear of judgement, I will share them with you.
It’s a short list:
1. Be consistent with my writing, I want to get my first draft down and start on editing by my birthday.
2. Pick a cover, title and editor to look over my writing. (this one is gonna be hard, I already know it)
3. Be more patient (in general) With my writing and with my family.
4. Do not allow the fear of faliure to stop me from doing what I want to do.
5. Quit smoking (by far the easiest one)
That’s about it. If you want to share your resolutions please feel free. You would be doing me a favor really, in that I won’t feel completely foolish and lonely in my thought process.
I will leave you with this:
If you are doing your best, you won’t have time to worry about failure.
This year I plan on doing my best. And to hell with the rest. Good day.