Imagine living in a world where being fat is normal. Where skinny chic’s get made fun of and are laughed at for not eating. If that were the case, you would be living in my world.
I am a fat chic. Not slightly big, not husky and not fluffy. Just fat. I don’t have a big ussue with it. I don’t obsess over my looks. I rarely look in the mirror more than a few times a day. I don’t practice self hate and I rarely compare myself to others body types. If someone ever has an issue with my weight I don’t hear about it.
I am strangely proud of my fat girl status. A lot of my friends are thin. Really thin. I can see their bones thin. Sometimes the guys and I would make jokes about my thin friends looking like crack heads. We would all laugh and poke at their hip bones jutting out. I never thought what I was saying was really hurting anyone.
All thin chics are perfectly happy right? They are filled to the brim with confidence. They have achieved what everyone wants. Sociaties approval of what an acceptable woman should look like. They get the well paying jobs and are assumed to have pleasant demeanors because they are good looking. They get little advantages like getting thejob because the boss likes how you look, getting let into clubs without waiting in line and getting picked first for sports because they must be faster without all that extra weight. They are what is percieved as successful.
So my little jokes are not that big of a deal right? Thin chics make fat jokes all the time. It’s my right to even the score on behalf of all fat chics even though I never in my adult life have been made fun of.
This, I had to learn the hard way. By having some random thin chic put me on blast on the fucking internet. So embarrasing.
Case in point:
I was perusing facebook and read an article regarding a child star. A ‘where they are now’ article. She was super thin. I made a comment. I thought nothing of it. Shortly after that, I recieved a response from some random person writing that I was a hypocrite. Here is the complete exchange. (I can’t believe I am putting this out there)
Me: Waaaay too thin honey. Eat a steak.
Randon thin chic: Waaaay too fat honey. Eat a salad.
That’s not very nice of me to say, now is it? Don’t be a hypocrite.
And you know what? She was right. Damn, I hate being wrong. Its a sour pill to swallow. Its the crow I have to eat and apologize to randon thin chic. I suck at apologizing. But I am not above it.
I didn’t realize what I said had any impact. Who gives a shit what I think anyway?
I confess to getting slightly indignant about it. Screw you random chic. I have a great job, loving husband and smart daughter. I am happy. And I don’t need your approval.
Then I started to think about what the person who read my comment must have felt.
Most likely the same think right? Well, now I feel like a douche. Who knew thin chics had feelings? I always thought they were so self-confident that it didn’t matter what anyone said. Turns out, skinny chics don’t like to be made fun of. Hell, who does? I don’t but I suppose I am in the minority because I really don’t get made fun of. At least to my face. And of you can’t say it to my face then I don’t care.
But I digress. Its not really about her being thin and me being fat. Its about saying mean things to each other under the guise of jokes. I thought it was funny. But someone else may think it’s hypocritical. Which begs the question:
Is what I posted an expression of my personal opinion? Or am I just a mean girl? I kinda feel like the mean girl at this point.
What do you think?
So, as promised, *ahem*
I hereby apologise to Random Thin Chic. Thanks for the simple yet powerful rebuke. I am a better person for it.