I have been MIA. Yeah, sorry bout that. This bish has shit to do though. Lots of it. We are beginning the busy season. Every weekend we have something planned. The SF Bay Area is a pretty busy place man.
Also, I only write on here when I have an idea that pops into my head. Lately the old noggin has been empty because I haven’t had a moment’s rest to allow myself some thinking time.
Here is an example of my monthly schedule. This weekend we have one of my besties birthday bar-b-que on Saturday, then on Sunday it’s my daughter’s recital at 10am, then my nephews graduation at 1-3pm, then a birthday party at 4-7 pm. Next weekend we have my sisters graduation on Friday, my other sister and I are doing the San Jose Bubble Run at 12pm on Saturday, after that we have graduation dinner at 5pm. That Sunday we have pictures to take for my daughter’s 7th birthday. And I have to finish her 7 year old letter and 20 questions. Damn, I forgot about that.
The following week after that I am leaving for four days for UtopYA 2015! I think I have one weekend this month that we don’t have anything planned. But knowing my luck something will come up between now and then.
You see what I mean?
It’s crazy right now. Last month was the same way.
I am getting a little worn down truth be told. I definitely see some R&R in my future. Right now I can’t do much except try not to stumble on my way out the door. You know that song by Alabama,”I’m in a hurry to get things done, I rush and rush until life’s no fun, all I really gotta do is live and die, but I’m in a hurry and don’t know why.”
No? Well, it’s country. Don’t suppose too many of my friends would know it. ‘Cept maybe Leigh. Bet she doesn’t even know I have this blog. Ha!
Anyway, I digress. I do that a lot. Maybe I have ADHD.
Hm. Moving on, that’s how I feel right about now. In a hurry to get things done. Which makes it feel like work.
I hate work.
I’m kind of a hippy that way. I understand it’s necessary to survive and yada yada yada but I am tired!
This is turning into a downer post. Screw it, no ones perfect, least of all me. I can decompress with you guys right? I am not trying to bring ya’ll down with me, I’m really just venting. It’s hard to hold it all in. Something’s gotta give right? And this is my platform to do with as I see fit.
Really, I wanted this post to be about what you guys wanted to do this summer.
My summer bucket list really only consists of camping ( I love to camp, but there has to be plumbing) and going to UtopYA. Gosh, I am near to bursting with happiness going there. I have about 15 people I am hoping to meet, not to mention all the other authors I will be introduced to. Plus the speeches, oh dear lord, I am bringing a big notebook to take notes. This is a huge opportunity for me. For those of you who are unfamiliar with UtopYA; it’s a fairly new-ish author/blogger/reader conference for indie authors with panels and speeches and it’s own awards and a whole day of book signing. I have never been to anything like this in my life and I am super excited to take this step and learn all I can.
So, now that we have run the gamut of my crazy thoughts (thanks for letting me vent) tell me what you want to do during the summer. Mine will definitely be one I remember.
Hey, how about a snippet since I’m here. (subject to change)
He looks like someone grabbed him by the balls and twisted. It’s a perverse sense of satisfaction to behold the uneasiness that is radiating off him. The panic blossoming on his face is like my chocolate. Damn, I am an evil bitch. The bell rings before they can give him the full hazing and he thankfully turns to walk away but stops when he sees me. He makes a bee line for me and I can’t help a sideways smile as he approaches.
“You are a bitch.” He says without preamble. I shrug like it doesn’t bother me.
“You are an asshole.” I respond in kind. We stand there as everyone walks past us like we don’t exist. We will be late if we don’t get a move on soon but I will be damned if I leave first. Finally after a few minutes his mouth tilts upwards into a smile and he shakes his head as he looks down. I don’t know what to make of that but I will take it at face value for now.
“So I guess I did that to myself.” He looks up at me again and something is different in his expression. His frigidness is starting to defrost. I can’t help but have a laugh at him.
“Yeah, if only you would have just given me a smoke I would have left you alone.” He nods at me as we walk back inside together.
“Yeah, well I think I have learned my lesson the hard way. No more fucking with the almighty Cece.” I stop and glare at him.
“If you knew who I was then why did you?” I ask honestly. I don’t know if I want to know the answer to this question but it is too late to take back. I know how people look at me. I am aware of the fearful stares and the cringing into the corner when I walk by the underclassman. They don’t want me to notice them, and for good reason too.
“I thought the stories of you were grossly exaggerated. And you are a girl, a short girl at that. You don’t look all that tough honestly.” He shrugs.
Now I am fuming because I am pretty sure he just insulted my gender and my height for no good reason.
“So because I am short and have tits you think I am soft?” I ask with a dangerously low voice. He stops and sinks into his shoulders a bit at my tone.
“Okay those were the wrong words to use.” He puts his hands up as if to ward off an explosion. “Look can we just start over, I mean I did just give you one of my last smokes.” He smiles to try to lighten up the conversation. I continue walking by him and toss my hair over my shoulder on the way past.
“I will think about it and get back to you on that.” I don’t even bother to look at him when I say it. I know what his face looks like anyway. All the others who have crossed me and misjudged me have the same expression. Shock. I dismissed him so easily after I introduced him to my group. He doesn’t say anything to me as I walk by and I would have ignored him even if he did.