You ever feel like you have good things going for you and you think to yourself, “When is the bad gonna come?” That’s me ALL THE TIME. I am constantly looking for the bad. So I can prepare. It’s just terrible I know. Clearly I need therapy.
Anyways, recently had my car broke down. I was super, terribly, bigly afraid because I broke down on the center divide of an interchange during commuting hours. It was unsettling to say the least. I fear I may be traumatized because every car I drive seems to break down on the freeway.
This is where the bad comes in. I’m fighting it but it is hard. My mind is racing with all the things that have and can still go more wrong. I haven’t been sleeping well and my poor husband handles stress way worse than I do so I need to be the strong one here.
The problem is, I’m NOT strong. I’m so incredibly vulnerable you guys. I just feel like crawling into a whole and crying. I mean, I know in the grand scheme of things we will be OK. We will figure something out because as my husband said, “Have we ever not figured it out before?” And he’s right, I know he’s right.
But it certainly doesn’t feel that way right now. Gosh you know reading this back it just sounds so stupid. Who cares right? Sounds like #firstworldproblems to me. I just needed to get it out of me, I suppose. To know that I am not alone in thinking this way I guess. It’s ridiculous really. Everything seems bigger. All the decisions seem harder to make. It’s like this big, heavy entity weighing you down. Taking up all your headspace and then, once you let it out; it just seems to drift away as if it were water vapor.
Am I alone in thinking this way? I hope not because I’m highly comforted by the fact that I am not alone in this.
So that’s my Valentines day post. Do you have any shitty things that have happened to you recently that you want to ‘get off your chest’? I’ll lend you my ear if only so you can let it out. Because you have done the same for me. And I will forever be grateful because of it.
Have a good one folks.