First day of school

school daySo today was her first day in first grade.  I liked it, a lot.  She has her best friend from kinder with her too which is a huge relief for her.  She told me she was really nervous.  I am so proud that she can recognize her feelings and express them to me.
However I am am a bit torn about her clothes.
This child loves to wear mis-match clothes!
Always.
She just doesn’t care.
Which brings me to my conundrum.  I have debated this in my head for a while now and have finally decided that I don’t give a rat’s ass if she looks ridiculous.
Don’t get me wrong it took a while to come to this conclusion.
Some poeple look at me sideways when we go out and she is wearing her halloween costume to the grocery store.  You know what you can do with that look?
Fuck off.
Year I said it, and I mean it too.
She will learn on her own and me pressuring her to conform is just something I am not comfortable with. Call it hippyism.  Whatever.
If she is comfortable wearing it then I will support her in that decision.  I know she will get made fun of eventually, and that is why it is so hard for me to bite my tongue.
Quite literally I have bitten my tongue when she comes strolling out wearing her christ cape, shorts, tank top and boots.  It’s hard not to cringe and let her see that I absolutely hate it.
My eyes go wide and I stutter, “W-Wow, that is something else.  Do you like it?”
And she smiles big and says, “I love it!”
So that means that I have to love it too.  Because that is what families do.  They support each other even when they think they know better.
I just can’t in good conscience force her to wear something she doesn’t like, when in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t fucking matter.
Our family is about love and acceptance.
If she is confidant in wearing stripes with plaid then rock that shit girl!  I am so tired of all the magazines telling us what is IN and what we SHOULD be wearing.
My daughter is too young for that shit.  I will let her make up her own mind.
I know it’s not that big a deal Carla, everyone feels the same way as you.
But there is a difference between feeling the same way and actually acting on it.
Peer pressure is a bitch and I feel it still.
It’s a tightening of the shoulders knowing you are going into enemy territory and everyone will be staring at you.
It doesn’t have to be about an outfit though, it can be anything really, a view, any issue that is contraversial. People just want to be accepted and being controversial isn’t cool anymore.
Okay I may be getting off point.  But you know what I don’t care!
Take that conformity! Eat me!
Thank you and good night.


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